Weight a Minute

When I got pregnant with Sarah, I was carrying a few extra pounds. But by the time she was 18 months old, I weighed 10 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight. Then I got pregnant with Rebecca, and now that she is almost 14 months I am down to the same thing I weighed before my first pregnancy. Thanks to my scale's body fat analyzer, I know my extra 8 pounds is from fat and not muscle, and it just won't seem to go away. Maybe having Rebecca fully weaned will make a difference. (She is down to 2 feedings now, so it won't be long before I am free! It's a bitter-sweet thing – kind of sad to let go, but nice to have my body back.) Maybe I will actually get back into an exercise routine like I should. And maybe I'll actually start going to bed on time! Then again … maybe the extra pounds are here to stay. Maybe they will even increase! How do I make peace with that?

For those of you who have managed to feel comfortable in your own skin – if anyone actually does – please tell me your secret! How did you do it? How do you learn to accept your body when you've been at war with it for so long? I thought I had come to terms with most of this through my first pregnancy, but really all that did was help me to feel actually connected to my body – like my physical self is a part of my actual self, and not just some adversary that houses "the real me." It didn't necessarily help me to like it any better, although I did actually like my body when I was pregnant. And I don't totally dislike my body now. But I certainly hate the extra baggage. How do I turn that into motivation to trade in old habits for healthier ones?

(A note to the guys – this post is mostly for the girls, but I know some of you struggle with your weight too, so feel free to ring in. Just be aware that the world of a woman who started dieting at the age of 8 is quite different from the world of men so please try to be sensitive to that. Thanks!)