Reflections on Work and Home

At work, I seem to do fine juggling multiple projects, staying on task, and communicating things in an appropriate way. But at home ... it is another story. I have a very hard time attending to the girls and getting other things done (like cooking dinner and washing dishes) as well. And once they are in bed, the last thing I want to do is clean house! I usually do my workout routine and then read or check e-mail, and then shower and go to bed.

It drives me nuts that the house is such a disaster area, and I would be mortified if my mother saw this place in its current state, but I can't seem to stay on task at home the way I do at work. I wish I knew why ...

Or even just handling the girls when they are being difficult -- I can often see the positive goal behind the negative behavior, but I have so much trouble thinking of a way to redirect them. Rebecca is easier, partially because this is my second time dealing with a two-year-old, and partially because of her own personality. Sarah is extremely willful and defiant -- she reminds me a lot of me! And she can push my buttons like no one else. But at the same time she is eager to please and seems almost desperate to prove herself. So as I was leaving work today, I was asking myself why I can be so positive and efficient at work but can't seem to get out of a negative and counter-productive mode at home. And then it occurred to me that I don't generally deal with difficult people at work! Really, my boss is awesome, everyone I can think of that I interact with on a regular basis is awesome -- I guess it just really makes a difference when people are constantly demanding your full attention and constantly doing things you don't want them to. It is definitely more draining dealing with children than adults.

But that's not the whole story, of course. My kids are SO cute and I love them SO much. Rebecca is really talking a lot now, and so far is having more of a terrific two phase than a terrible two phase. She definitely tests limits and gets into everything, but she's also a lot of fun and very sweet! And Sarah just amazes me -- she is so clever and creative. She's always asking things like, "Mommy, what would you think if someone grew a tree inside our house?" :) So there is a ton of joy in with the difficult times too. Overall it's just more draining than working in an office though -- and also I only work 4 hours a day; whereas, I'm with my kids 18 hours a day (including sleep time).